My mistake

I'm already treating my work at SAIC like assignments, not like art.

Boo.

Feeling

I want to feel things. Really feel things.

Like the way he feels when he plays that piano: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu3w3zjefW4

I want to get that from painting, from acting, from singing, from dancing, from writing, from everything.

I know how...

I just haven't taken the leap.

That song is one of my favorites ever. I don't know if I could make a list of favorite songs. The list, I guess, would be made of songs that mean the most to me.

1.) Somewhere Over the Rainbow (The Wizard of Oz)

2.) Alone in the Universe (Seussical)

3.) Circle of Life (Lion King) 

4.) Anything's Possible (Seussical)

5.) Electricity (Billy Elliot) 

Keep in mind, that's just a one night list. This is pretty accurate though. Those mean a lot. But I DO know that the top one will never change. NO SONG can mean more to me than "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Nothing ever ever ever ever. I guess  "When You Wish Upon a Star" could take the number 6 spot for now =)

~BEn

PS: Today I go back to ChicAgo.

.

Every so often

Now and again I'll find a song I listen to over and over, sometimes for no reason. Sometimes it's because it touches my heart. Sometimes it's just because the song is catchy.

Well right now I'm into the song "I'll Be There", sung by The Jackson 5.

The original song

and THIS just touched my heart, for millions of reasons:

Their reunion version, LIVE

and if you have time, listen to it acapella!! (NOTE: This kid tried to mix the audio with another video, so it's not crappy lip synching)

Yeah. There's fish sticks cooking right now. I hate fish but I like fish sticks. Mmm.

Last night

I gotta make art.


The thing I forget with my art is that I have the ability and OPPORTUNITY to say things.
Though what I DO have is the history of making art for only the sake of making art. Not many people do that, as Joe Murray (creator of Rocko's Modern Life) once said:

"Unlike other countries, America seems to place little value on artistic expression for merely arts sake."

I didn't paint to say anything.

But I need to start making art and SAY things with it. EXPRESS myself with it. Not just express the love of making art, but express what I think, what I feel, what I know, what I don't know. It doesn't need to be deep.

Then again, some of my old work that wasn't made with a conceptual approach has more meaning than anything I've made while TRYING to say something.

I once borrowed a film camera in 2007 and personally developed the photos, those pictures mean more than nearly all of the ones I ever took in my photo class. And those were were supposed to be conceptual.

I gotta forget the word "conceptual", I gotta focus on "expressing". Here's an artist statement I wrote a while ago, not for anything, not official. But here it is:

"I want my art to document the experience of things. An experience can last a microsecond or a lifetime. An experience is made of thoughts, sights, sounds, tastes, memories, and more. It can be emotional or banal. It can be high and low at once. While I cannot describe someone else's experience of something I know I can depict my own. I don't believe this isolates the viewer by any means. When someone sees a depiction of an experience of mine, they may recognize themselves in my work, for everyone experiences things. I enjoy the thought of depicting an experience because I can portray as little or as much of it as I want. I can pick the sight of an experience, or the smell, or both. The list goes on. My experiences are spiritual, physical, mental, and varied. I am unlimited."

I think the statement as a piece of writing needs work, but there's the idea. Anywho.

Last night I was finally ready to paint but I couldn't find my portfolio bag with my canvases etc.
Apparently I didn't bring it home.
I gotta make my friend a painting and I refuse to do it at school.
BUT I have SOME canvases here. I have some paint. I don't think I have palette paper... but I can use paper plates!

But I wrote a lot today!
And plan to write more.
"Kellye's Chair" is up to 36 pages.

EDIT: Up to 51 pages =)

Weeee.

~BEn

Light

Right now I miss the stage.
Buzzing lights and rushing sounds and sights and lines and colors and shapes and energy and adrenaline and black and white and applause and silence and screaming with pitch-perfect notes and jumping wildly from one end of the stage to another to another to another.

A good start.

"I let people say of me and think of me whatever they like and treat me just as they like - that is their business; I am not obligated to listen to their everlasting drivel."
~Vincent Van Gogh